Short Story

Just a chance to get my life back on track and to provide for my daughter.

Oxfordshire, UK, United Kingdom (UK)

2024! The Year From Hell!

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By Ricky T
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Story

I’ve got to be honest, I’m embarrassed that I’m doing this, but with my current situation within my life and mental health, I’ve had to force myself to take a leap of faith and ask for help. I’ve never been good at asking for help, but I need to keep trying to carry on, for my little daughter.

This will appear as a sob story, but in truth, it’s a journey of desperation. Just this year my world has been turned upside down and thrust into horrible directions. 2024 has quite simply been the worst year of my life, and I’ve faced challenges throughout my life with drink addictions in my teens, in which I’ve been teetotal for nearly 20 years now, homelessness, suicide attempts and an array of trauma including family issues.

I started the year with a mental health relapse whilst helping to care for my Grandfather who went into a nursing home on Christmas Day. I was extremely suicidal, but I continue for my daughter as best I can and at the time, my Grandfather too. Throughout January, my relationship of 9 years and marriage of just 3 months broke down with my soon to be ex wife and mother of my child took on a completely different lifestyle which affected us massively. We separated in February and as you can imagine, I was devastated as just a week before, my Grandfather passed away. I fell into another relapse, fighting suicidal ideation with my future looking very unclear. I had to take time off work which resulted in not bringing home as much as I usually would.

Throughout March and April I had very large outgoings with car and house maintenance which my former partner was not prepared to support despite us still living together in the house with our joint mortgage and child. I fell into a significant debt that I’m currently trying to pay back as best I can. I was also driving her to and from work at the time (nearly 80 mile round trip every day), not paying any maintenance or fuel, but I had to do it so she kept her job and to keep a roof over our daughters head in a safe environment.

I had pneumonia during another relapse in April and was wondering how anything could get any worse, until my ex partner purchased a motorbike and stayed out of the house a lot of the time essentially leaving me as a single parent. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but it took a massive toll of my mental and physical health, with absolute stress and exhaustion, in which I became physically sick.

I sought help in the way of therapy, which helped to an extent at the time, but that too was mentally and physically exhausting and revisiting trauma resulted in me being physically ill again, pretty much after every weekly session.

Fast forward to now and my former partner now wants us to sell the house and she’ll take my daughter miles away, simply to be closer to her friends. It may not sound a lot, but all the fuel will add up over the months and it’ll be less time with my daughter, who is literally my lifeline, I can’t imagine life with out her around.

With my share of the house once it sells mostly going to clear our debts, I’ll be left with not a great amount to buy a new place, but I need a safe environment for my daughter as in time as soon as I’m settled, I want to go for hopeful custody of my daughter. I never rate myself very highly with anything I do, but I know I’m a damn good father to my daughter.

I guess where I’m going with this is I’ve seen how much people change lives forever with kindness and was hoping maybe I could be one of these lucky people that’ll get a foot up into a decent way of life. Anything for a better and secure life for my daughter. I’ve worked hard my whole life and even more so now, for my little one and in truth, she’s the only good thing to come of it.

Thank you so much for your time if you got this far (apologies for the essay) and possibly speak soon.

Much love and respect in all you do.

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