I had a rough start in life and not the greatest childhood. But I’m growth oriented and have tried hard to be a decent person. After a couple violent and failed marriages, I put myself through years of counseling. I was a hard worker and kept improving myself to care for my children,  who I raised by myself. But my ex husband kept taking me back to court, with his family’s money, while not paying child support or using his visitation regularly.

In 2015 I got a phone call from my daughter’s pastor about a secret she told him. It was something you never want to hear and it broke me. It was something my ex husband did to her. We went back to court and I was awarded sole custody with no visitation. We worked on healing. We then moved to my hometown.

The court situation and child support created constant financial instability, and about $60,000 in legal fees and $100,000 child support arrears by 2020. In 2015 I sterilized myself but in 2019 had a child after a one in a million pregnancy. My boyfriend and I were in our first year of dating, but he didn’t want children and we eventually parted ways amicably. In 2020 I got very very sick. I was diagnosed with a degenerative disease. The disease family is often tied to a hard childhood paired with genetic predisposition. Needless to say, my parents weren’t supportive or a help to me during these times. After diagnosis my ex husband took me back to court. It was a new state so we had to start from scratch. He made up lies and it was costly to start over, as well as physically difficult. I spent around $40,000 on court requirements and fees. He was awarded supervised visits once a month after a stressful four years of court.

By 2023 I couldn’t work anymore. I filed for federal disability retirement and SSDI. I started pulling from my retirement account but reached the limit on what I am allowed to take. I was just approved for federal disability retirement but haven’t gotten any funds, and I will receive 40% of my income while paying for insurance. I’m still going through SSDI. The income will not be much.

At this time, I don’t have funds to pay for medical expenses, the remainder of the legal bills, and my children. It’s cheaper to keep my home than move, although it’s not disability friendly. My vehicle has 240,000+ miles on it and I’m afraid I won’t have a vehicle soon. Further, two of my children have autism and need treatments, specific foods, and autism friendly items. They are a joy to have, but are a little more expensive. They can be more destructive than the average child because they take things apart and have a peeling compulsion. With my degenerative disease, it’s getting too hard to fix these items on my own without paying to have things fixed. I’m starting to have to pay for a lot of basic things.

I really need to get my debt handled and get into a financially fit situation, especially with the dramatic pay cut going forward. I’m extremely nervous about how to navigate this situation. My body gave out and I have people who depend on me. I can’t let them down, I need to give them as much stability as possible.