Story

Hello,

My name is Lawrence Dugger. I have recently been going through a crisis in life. I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, a condition that I’ve been living with for most of my life, but I had no idea how bad my situation was. I never knew of the warning signs or symptoms. Through the lens of depression, I made some terrible decisions concerning my relationships, career, and my personal faith. I was so stressed that I didn’t notice my passion for culinary arts was fading away. I became more introverted and pushed myself away from family and friends. This all happened over years but I was pushing myself into a corner that I couldn’t get out of and I was sinking, too. I was a culinarian, a chef, for over 26 years and my passion for food began to leave me. But I kept working hard and working long hours. I thought that I was living the average American dream. I went to school, I began to do what I love for a living, I donated money, I volunteered in my community, and had a pretty happy family life. Somewhere along the way, I took a bad turn. I’m not sure when or what triggered it but my path began to spiral downward. After a while I was beaten up mentally and physically from work. I was a stressed out chef in need of a break or something new but I didn’t know what to do. My personal relationship failed and it only left me feeling empty. I soon began to seclude myself from friends while I kept, at the time, pouring myself into work. I ended up leaving the culinary world and ventured into learning about real estate. I wasn’t sure about the world of real estate but I was willing to learn. I was in desperate need of a change. I paid for real estate courses and even worked with a coach, but it didn’t seem to be a good fit for me. I knew that in my heart. I proceeded on with it but my downward spiral continued. I soon lost my motivation for doing almost anything. By this time my mind was jumping ahead of any decision and justifying any and all negative thoughts or actions. I became suicidal and before I was hospitalized, I thought that this was all normal and a part of a natural process. I’ve spent the earlier part of 2024 (Dec. 30-Jan. 15) and (May 15-June 15) in the hospital for depression, anxiety, suicidal attempts and ideation, and psychosis. Since my release, I’ve been in group therapy and seeing a regular therapist. The times that I have been hospitalized and being in group therapy (Intense outpatient therapy) left me swamped in bills and unpaid rent. I have no family or close friends to go to or ask for help. I am working but the pay is not enough to cover my living expenses. My credit has dropped and I’m unable to secure any loan. I’m not currently making the same salary as I did when I was a chef. I took a step down in order to “recover” and to not be triggered so easily by working in such a stressful environment. But I need help. I’ve been praying to God and looking for any help that I can get. I just need help in paying my bills, debt, and rent. I’m placing myself back into the same situation as before. I’m overthinking and stressing myself out about my new current situation. My thoughts have already turned dark and my mind is in a place that I don’t want it to be. I can’t afford to place myself back into the hospital. If I’m hospitalized again, then I can’t make enough money to pay rent or bills. If I’m unable to do that, then I’ll be homeless and right now, my mind is too fragile. I’ll either end up harming myself or dead. I’ve applied for government benefits, disability, Veterans assistance, and anything else that I can look up or if it comes my way. I’m in desperate need of $7,680 so that I can clear myself of this debt and so that I can begin to rebuild my life. I don’t know who will read this but if there is any kind soul that comes across this letter, I desperately asking for help. $7,680 may not be a lot to some people, but its what I need to set my entire life back on track. It’s at least a beginning. I’m not asking out of greed or laziness. I’m not asking for more than what I need. I want to be as honest and as transparent as I can. If there is no financial donation to be made, then please just pray for me. Thank you so much for your time.