Education and caring funds
Story
Hi there, I hope everyone reading this is having an awesome day. I am a mother of two teenagers.
I always dreamt that I would be able to give them everything that they ever needed as every parent out there
I was seventeen years old when I first moved out and took on the big world. I always had dreams of studying and becoming successful and having a good job. I however did not have the funds to go study so as I took on the world I got a job as a waitress. I met some of the most amazing people doing this for a living and was finally able to provide for myself. I was able to buy clothes and to afford basic rent, my dream was always to fix my teeth as this has had a huge impact on my confidence but I never quite had enough for braces.
At the age of eighteen I met a man about ten years older and fell in love…needless to say I was young and dumb. I was always cautious and was very scared of getting pregnant at a young age and was on birth control. This man was American guy and he told me he was sterile….. so imagine my shock when I discovered I was pregnant. I contemplated an abortion but I did not have the funds and something in my heart told me not to, and of course the father was very excited and promised to always be there . I bonded with a soul I hadn’t even met. Seven months later he went to visit his mother who came down from America and decided to leave. I was heartbroken and sadly always believed he would come back. He felt our baby kick and we got baby clothes together…. how can you just walk away from that? Single ,eighteen and pregnant I went home to my family. I got another waiter job when my beautiful son was only 3 weeks old, I was determined to give him everything I did not have. I worked double shifts and missed him so much, but I needed to provide for him. That is where I met my ex husband. We started dating and once again I went on the injection as a method of birth control and low and behold I got pregnant again!!!??? The father was five years older than me but he surprised me and was an excellent father. We got married and that is where I thought happily ever after came. I was happy, I had a beautiful baby boy and girl. At the age of about three I noticed my son was different. He didn’t sleep at night, he gagged when I fed him and was very fussy about food, he made strange loud sounds and flapped his hands. After many many different doctors etc we found out he is autistic. My heart broke as all the dreams you have in your head of how life is supposed to be goes away. I grieved the idea of the son I lost and embraced the blessing I was given. It was difficult as he struggled with toilet training, eating, sleeping, speaking and being touched. 20 Years ago autism was not as well known as it is today so many people did not understand his behaviour. My husband and I got divorced and decided to share custody of our daughter. he however did not want to be part of my sons life anymore. I left with only our clothes. Stubborn and determined to make it on my own. What a struggle… no car, no house, no finances and no schools would take him so I had to get private people to care for him while I worked. For 18 years I worked Christmas, I missed milestones but I never made enough money to do anything other than just barely surviving. I developed a drug addiction as I used crystal meth to keep me awake at night and to have energy for working 7 days a week. At one stage I was working 3 jobs at once. When my kids were 9 and 10 , I met my current partner. He accepted and loved both my kids as if they were his own. I met him after his divorce so its been tough just trying to survive as he also lost everything. My son is an old soul and one the kindest most caring gentle giants. I often wonder if I had more funds for speech therapists if he would be able to speak today. My daughter is my other blessing and my best friend. They have slept on floors with me and walked for hours just to get to shops. They have never asked for anything, no brand name clothing etc. My daughter has been studying so hard during high school and even became head girl. All she wants is to be able to go study so that she doesn’t have to struggle the way she saw her mother struggle all these years. I failed them by not saving money, but there was never extra to save. I have never been someone to ask for help and I do not spend money on myself. I am 39 years old and I have never gotten my nails done, I don’t buy myself clothes and wear whatever people give me, I haven’t gotten my hair cut by a hairdresser in 15 years. My kids has always come first. I wish I did ask for help earlier because they deserve so much better than what they got. So this is me putting my pride in my pocket asking for help. I am asking for help so that I can give my daughter higher education that she so badly wants and I am asking for help for my son so that I can get him qualified people to help him cope with the world and hopefully help him to talk.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you if you are able to help.
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