Story

*graphic description below, possibly triggering (DV,SA) *
I apologize now if anyone is triggered by my story  😔

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Hello,

My name is Emily and I’m currently homeless, living in my 2016 Ford Focus SE. I wish I could tell you that I’m homeless and living in my vehicle by choice to save money, but that would make me a liar.

I have been in an emotional, mental and physically/sexually abusive relationship for almost 4 years.

I finally found the courage to leave today.

Everyday since April 30, 2021 I have been yelled at, told I was fat, ugly and worthless (and worse). I was told daily that I should be lucky to even have him touch me because I was so below him in every way possible. I’ve had my hair pulled and pulled out from the roots, choked, smothered with his hands and a pillow to cover my cries for help…. He would slap, punch and pinch areas that wouldn’t be visible to everyone. When he hit my face I couldn’t go anywhere until the black eyes or bruises were almost gone or I could hide with makeup.
I would have to prepare his meals every day at the same time… I would have to have his clothes folded a specific way, I would have to have the whole entire apartment cleaned to his liking and if it wasn’t done properly… or if I burnt dinner or if I was just so tired that I couldn’t do anything. I got beat again and again and again. But the sexual abuse is where I finally snapped. I had to go to the hospital two separate times to have a tampon removed because he would have sex with me without my consent while I was sleeping and then gaslight me into believing that I gave him consent. He would bring other women around and force me to watch him do things with her And she would be forced to do things with me and me forced to do things with her …. Recently, he decided to tell me that she has an incurable STD, which thankfully I tested negative for, but he acted like it was no big deal if I got sick from her because he would constantly tell me that he wished I was dead and that I’m nothing but a convenience and a whore and I should act as such and do what he says And if I don’t do what he says, then bad things will happen.

that’s as much detail as I’m really willing to go into because it’s hard for me to type out as I just got the nerve to get up this morning (October 3, 2024) and left because I couldn’t take it. I’m trying to get the nerve to go and file a report right now with the local police department and to get a restraining order against him and the other girl because, she loved doing all of that with him and also partook and calling me names and belittling me. He took all of my bank cards, credit cards… I have no financial means to make my car payment now( I’m 2 months behind),  I lost my job because he couldn’t handle me being out without him, so he would harassed customers if they came up towards me to ask me a question…. or if I was even 30 seconds late coming home… and that is not an exaggeration unfortunately… I am the lowest weight I have ever been in my entire life…. I can’t keep anything down. I cry, and I can’t sleep. I’m scared to death to even try to leave the city I live in with him, because I don’t want him to try to find me for fear of what he would do or have done to me by someone else.
and unfortunately, because of all of this, my family has basically stopped all communication…. My friends have all basically disappeared because I had to cut them out of my life for him because he was supposed to be the only one in my life.

I have all day been reaching out to homeless shelters, domestic violence, shelters for women different programs to help with either a hotel or motel so I can shower maybe do laundry and sleep without being interrupted. I have been applying for jobs for the past couple hours trying to get back on my feet even though I just left today. I’m still trying to put forth the work.

But as of now, I am only worried about my car payment because it’s all that I have and I’m terrified. I’m gonna lose it because if I lose that, I lose my home.

I have always been able to take care of myself and I have always been very good with my money up until I met this man. I’m sorry monster…and have since had my life destroyed and everything taken from me. I just wanna move forward and never look back…

please if you can help I would be so grateful and I understand if you cannot….

I’m sitting outside the local police department right now trying to go in to make the report. Wish me luck and again thank you For taking the time to read this and for even possibly considering helping me,