help me fulfill my dream and ride the waves

This is why I'm posting here:

I am 25 and for my entire life, I have been fat. I don't mean this as in, a little on the chubby side; but obese. I can remember being in 5th grade, when our class had to get weighed and measured at the nurses office. The sinking feeling in my gut that came up when I weighed almost 200 lbs at the age of 10 is something that I don't think I will entirely forget.

Because of my horrible diet as a child (McDonalds, soda, you name it), I have spent my entire young life coping with being overweight and all of the horrible things that go with it: wondering if I'll fit in a seatbelt, wondering if I would break a friends bed or chair if I sat on it, or never being able to find a cute outfit to wear like all the other girls. When I was about 14, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which is cysts on my ovaries (contributing to my obesity, or as a result of, but they worked in tandem to make my life miserable). Without health insurance, I was never able to get this issue resolved, and with my poor diet, my weight increased. PCOS symptoms also include abnormal facial and body hair, which was (and to a degree still is) the bane of mine and any woman's existence. A woman should never have to feel so ashamed of her own body, and yet that is exactly how I've felt for as long as I've realized that I was different, and that looks mattered.

My highest weight as of 4 months ago topped out at 324 (thought I had reached 340 a year earlier but had lost some weight over a long period of time). Recently I began taking HCG (a hormone that helps regulate fertility and also helps with weight loss), and am amazed to report that for the first time in my adult life, I am 270 lbs. While this still is a lot, for me it is an incredible number to be at. Never in my life have I felt the fear of dying at 30 begin to be lifted, though I still have a long way to go.

So the point of my request: there are a lot of dreams I have that I feel like I am within reach of grasping. Some of them have already been fulfilled: I have been able to travel with my family, and this past year my parents helped me to finance a jeep. This is a huge one...I live on the west coast and have always wanted to live a surfer/beach lifestyle.

But how could a fat girl ever be a surfer? It's been my dream for the past 10 summers to learn to surf, with beaches only 15 minutes away. But every year, the fear stopped me, my weight stopped me, my inability stopped me.

I want this year to be the last year fear gets in the way.

With my weight going down, I've been trying to exercise. I've been attempting a modified version of P90X, and have been eating healthy and avoiding all the foods that got me where I am today. The problem is that financially, while I do work full time, I barely make enough to cover my bills (gas, car insurance, car payment, cell phone), and am not even able to help my hard working parents pay rent. So money for extras this summer is not really possible, but I CAN'T let another year go by without accomplishing this task.

I want to attend a surf camp this summer in San Diego, called Surf Divas. The problem? Surf lessons are expensive. I think to get me on the right path, I'd need at least 10 hours of lessons. At $82 an hour, thats $820.

The reason I want to fulfill this dream is to prove to myself and others that no matter where you've been, or how far your body is from being in shape, that the human body is remarkably capable of change. I would want to encourage anyone who doesn't think they are the right "type" to surf or do a sport that they can push their bodies to do things they never thought possible. And I sincerely believe that learning to surf will help me pursue my health and fitness goals long term, as well as truly set free the earth-and-sea-loving hippie that I keep snug and close to my soul. I live for summer and the ocean...and being able to ride a way would be life changing for me.

If anyone is able to donate or help support me in taking charge of my health and fitness...there would be no adequate way to thank you. I will send you a picture of me riding my very first wave as a token of gratitude, with a friendship bracelet made by me with a few shells from the beach strung on it. My way to say thank you for helping me to live a healthy life.

I'm a giver who rarely gets, but if you could change that, I would be most grateful.

 

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